will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
