Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
