We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
