You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
