The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
