I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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