it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
