drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
