u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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