i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
