I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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