She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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