More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Randomize
