Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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