alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
