i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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