Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
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