You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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