How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
