So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You ruined the universe
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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