Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
