I heard we made out
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
