I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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