if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
