glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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