Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
