Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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