8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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