Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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