Dual....:-)
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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