After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
