Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize