I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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