Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
