She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
