Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
