he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
