Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
babies were throwing up all over the place
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
