Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
