I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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