I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
