I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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