that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
