A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Randomize