He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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