I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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