My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
