At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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