i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
