I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
