it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
