The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
