Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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