so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
