There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
