i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Randomize
