You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
