it wasn't lemon gatorade
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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