he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
