WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
