Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
