I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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