she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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