That's intense
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
