The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
